Showing posts from January, 2018

My Greatest Enemy

I really don't know what I need to do anymore.

I am literally the only thing standing in my way.

All I want to do is be held. I want to feel warm. Hear a heartbeat. Find my home. Be loved...

I used to be this person that didn't care about the time I worked the next day. You could catch me with friends out til midnight or later playing board games, watching movies, or just talking. Somewhere along the line I lost that.

My parents used to worry about me because there was a time I didn't have a worry in the world. I would skip gaily into an unknown location looking so rough and not pay any attention except to my end goal.

Then I got into a relationship. And I thought I was the happiest I had ever been. Looking back I don't think I was.

I distanced myself from friends. I gave up on things that used to bring me joy.


And I finally did it. Or at least I hope I did.

While typing this and listening to Gavin DeGraw's Make A Move in the background, I deleted Jacob from F…

Never Enough

Hi! Omg! There has been many times that I've wanted to post but either got busy or distracted by something else. I'm posting tonight because I made a promise to a best friend I would. For some reason, she suggested it when I had been thinking I should.

Where to start?

Well, I guess for now I'm going to stay in the Field of Spring. Plans to move have been halted dramatically by both debt and my career.
I say career only because it's a type of "official" job with a fancy title and what-not. But it's not something I want to do forever. I have never been one for sales and for now that still holds true. Unless something gives in my personality dramatically it's not going to work.
As for my debt, that's pretty much a given. I've NEVER been this far in debt before and I'll be damned before I allow it to get worse (I say as I order pizza online instead of eating at home the leftovers previously prepared).

Before that I was becoming spam.

You ever…